Feelings Are Intense, Words Are Trivial. Pleasures Remain, So Does The Pain.
my system crashed today. more about that later.
so my bmt experience is over. 2 months of training and now its come to this. block leave and waiting for posting to command school. in less than 2 weeks im going in for another 6 to 9 months of training. and i guess after the words from my PC, nothing should stop me from doing the best i can no matter where i go.
i guess i really cant please everyone, and in line with the resolution i set for this year, i guess i'm gonna stay away from people whom i would have personality clashes with from now on. its so frustrating to even try and make things better because the other party does not want you to even try. they just want to hate you forever.
A level results were great, but i havent been able to meet up with my close friends since 2 weeks ago, and im really sad. sad that we're all drifting away. im trying my best to keep things together guys, so would you just help me? its bad enough that one of us is so disillusioned - you dont want me to be too. then things would really fall apart. i am not kidding. where has all the camaraderie gone? the loyalty? that closeness? why can't we ever make the time for each other, our so-called best friends, but we can somehow find time for girlfriends, other friends, personal activities and whatnot. do we even care for each other as best friends any more? are we just meeting up for the convenience of playing basketball? it might seem hypocritical coming from me, but at least i still came back after a year's hiatus. and i dont wanna wait for a year for you guys to get back cause im a selfish person.
went to zouk last night to celebrate end of bmt with some platoon mates. ended up joining another group of friends and i got really high i guess. and i guess im lonelier than i would ever admit to anyone. oh and zouk's the reason why my system crashed. in case you wondered.
its just hard okay. i feel as if half of me is gone and i still havent filled it yet. not after almost 2 years.
so my bmt experience is over. 2 months of training and now its come to this. block leave and waiting for posting to command school. in less than 2 weeks im going in for another 6 to 9 months of training. and i guess after the words from my PC, nothing should stop me from doing the best i can no matter where i go.
i guess i really cant please everyone, and in line with the resolution i set for this year, i guess i'm gonna stay away from people whom i would have personality clashes with from now on. its so frustrating to even try and make things better because the other party does not want you to even try. they just want to hate you forever.
A level results were great, but i havent been able to meet up with my close friends since 2 weeks ago, and im really sad. sad that we're all drifting away. im trying my best to keep things together guys, so would you just help me? its bad enough that one of us is so disillusioned - you dont want me to be too. then things would really fall apart. i am not kidding. where has all the camaraderie gone? the loyalty? that closeness? why can't we ever make the time for each other, our so-called best friends, but we can somehow find time for girlfriends, other friends, personal activities and whatnot. do we even care for each other as best friends any more? are we just meeting up for the convenience of playing basketball? it might seem hypocritical coming from me, but at least i still came back after a year's hiatus. and i dont wanna wait for a year for you guys to get back cause im a selfish person.
went to zouk last night to celebrate end of bmt with some platoon mates. ended up joining another group of friends and i got really high i guess. and i guess im lonelier than i would ever admit to anyone. oh and zouk's the reason why my system crashed. in case you wondered.
its just hard okay. i feel as if half of me is gone and i still havent filled it yet. not after almost 2 years.
posted by roses for the dead. at
9:08 pm
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