Don't Go, Say You'll Stay, Spend a Lazy Sunday

past few weeks has been so much a joy for me.
so fulfilling, so rewarding.
i now know that living in accordance to how God wants us to is so.. indescribably joyful.

i guess i'm more at peace now.
and i know it'll stay that way as long as i keep the faith.

i want to shout out Your name in praise loud to all the earth because You are so real to me and i am so thankful o Lord for the love you've shown me all my life

:D

I'll Kiss You On The Neck; People'll Stare But I Don't Care

all the neuroses are coming back to haunt me.
God why am i back here again?

I Found Out From A Note Taped To The Door

is it four months already? whoa. flying off tomorrow ohmygosh.

struggling so damn hard and its not with my faith. i dont know why but for the first time in almost a year i've got the urge to tear up my arms again. the only thing that stopped me from doing so was the possibility of going to the detention barracks, and i'm so not gonna destroy my future before it has even been set in place.

i wish my best friends could drag me out of my misery, but they're so busy that they can't.

can't wait to see aloysius again. havent seen him in months omg.

falling oh so in love with stars. why havent anyone heard of them (except you serena haha).
must..get..more..people..into..them..

watched juno on my itouch last night. no frickin idea what the hype was all about. kinda lame in my opinion, but hey, to each his own i guess. don't flame me here doh.

mind's in a fuzz. may blog more tonight when i get all cranky and inspirational.

Words Can Never Make Up For What You Do

relationships are fragile things arent they.
there are the ones that seem all perfect but are not.
then there are those that seem to never end, but do.
then there are those that actually do work despite differences.

baffling stuff. i wonder whether this is the exact reason why He has been keeping me single. oh well.

One By One You Can Cage Them In Your Freedom Make Them All Disappear.

been months since i've last blogged. finally back because its the first time in a long while that i actually have time to sit down and pen down my thoughts.
dont know where to begin this entry sigh.

okay so i've become a clubber now. is that a bad thing?
i guess clubbing for me is like another way to relax. because on the dance floor everything goes.
no frills, no stress. the way i like it.
another reason i guess is that its so damn amusing to see all the different types of people our lovely country has to offer. the despots, the fat girls/guys, the caucasians, the i-think-i'm-hot uggers, the real hotties.. and the list goes on.
you dont see these people often. some of them only come out when the alcohol goes in. which is why its so damn funny at times.

and then spiritually i've kinda hit a brick wall. how do i put it. i'm in transition, and im stuck. i guess i gotta put some faith into the prayers that were said today so that i can move on to the next step. Lord watch over me.

relationship-wise its still a desert out here. oh well. He'll decide when i'm ready again i guess so i'm not that concerned anymore. when it's time it's time right? can't force things.

friends are still awesome, just wish we could spend time together as a group, you know? instead of random spontaneous meetings just so that we could check the "met this week" column. is it so hard to return to those days back when we were all in school where we could spend the whole weekend together just enjoying each other's company and engage in meaningful conversation? guys if you're reading this we HAVE to make time for each other. no more "well if he wants/cares he'll do something about it". we ALL have to be proactive.

birthday next friday. i approach the date with apprehension because i'm so afraid that i would wind up not enjoying myself. which is a tragedy.

Xavia + Very Loud

You're going away
And I'm feeling the same
Thing Day after Day
I can't let it go

Everyone in this room
They've got troubles too
Secret stories and
Lies that we never knew

Xavia, who will save us?
Your smile's on fire
And still my heart
Won't let you down, the sound

I don't wanna be
Your favorite enemy
Not when i can be loving you, alright
Why can't it be?
No two people feel
The same way at the same time

Xavia, who will save us?
Your smile's on fire
And still my heart
Won't let you down, the sound

Everyone in this room
They've got troubles too
Secret stories and
Lies that we never knew

You're going away(i don't wanna be)
And I'm feeling the same(your favorite enemy)
Thing Day after Day(i don't wanna be)
I can't let it go(your favorite enemy)

Xavia, who will save us?
Your smile's on fire
And still my heart
Won't let you down

Xavia, who will save us?
Your smile's on fire
And still my heart
Won't let you down

One heart to break, One heart
One heart to break, One heart
One heart to break, My heart
One heart to break, My heart

Xavia - The Submarines



And I wanna build Build it high for you
But the cost like other costs I can't afford you
But I always take the wrong way
This is why this love can't stay

And I wanna change, change the way we always have
And to make different plans and try not to make desire
But I always choose another way
This is why this love can't stay

Little by little
You gonna hear me cry (Hear me cry)
Why

But I wanna smell, smell the way you do
And to wear those clothes, the clothes your friends do
But I always choose another way
This is why this love can't stay

Little by little
You gonna hear me cry (Hear me cry)
Why
And I know that it started somewhere
And I really like it now, Yes I really like it now
Like it now

I got a plan
A plan to get us out of here
If we only can use your money we can definatly get get out of here
But I always screw it up someway
This is why this love can't stay

Little by little
You gonna hear me cry (Hear me cry)
Why
And I know that it started somewhere
And I really like it now, Yes I really like it now
Like it now

And we know it started yet, it started right there
And you were very loud yes you were very loud
But I really like that, very loud, like that yeah you were very loud

Very Loud - Shout Out Louds

I Love This Record Baby But I Cant See Straight Anymore

mambo was a letdown ): had fun mostly at phuture yesterday haha. i guess next time i'd only go with unattached friends. would make things so much easier and i can at least let myself get high. seems to me like the experience is dimmed without enough alcohol in the bloodstream. =/

still feeling kinda buzzed right now. eardrums are ringing; eyes puffy. and i still have a bottle of wild turkey in my fridge! didnt bother touching it at all last night went straight to bed lol.
MUST..DRINK..COLA WHISKY..SOON..

in case you were wondering, i'm on block leave till the 25th sigh. posted to armour infantry fuck.
i dont want to be chasing after tanks for 6 damn months aaagh. the horror! block leave has been pretty uneventful so far, and it seems as if it'll stay that way all the way now. ):

i wanna go back to phuture again this week.
any takers?

I Don't Wanna Be Your Favourite Enemy

been a long time since i blogged properly. i guess its a combination of not enough time and also the fact that ns has sucked the ability to express myself properly. after 4 months in ns im getting so damn sick of the whole affair altogether.
*note to self: i should stop ranting here lest i get caught.

so life's been like that. no interesting happenings because we are estranged from civilization. and, i dont classify ns happenings as interesting.

God, why is everything about ns in this post.

i dont have a life anymore.

on another note, i just found out about haruki murakami's books not long ago (thank you ming hao!) and they're fantastic. although at times i have this nagging feeling that i probably didnt get as many references as i should, its still awesome. currently re-reading sputnik sweetheart because its a little too deep for me to understand back in camp. hopefully i'd get the book after this second read.

i guess im a sucker for romance afterall.