I'll Be Waiting Wishing Wanting - Yours For The Taking
so christmas came and went and the only present i got was the 50$ borders card i got from desmond. i bought randy pausch's the last lecture, along with one of the usual stuff that i read. havent gotten down to reading the last lecture though, gotta do it soon since im enlisting exactly next week.
how time has flown by me, and i barely noticed it. it seemed ages ago that i was sad, depressed about so many things. basketball, teammates, relationships and whatnot. and its weird feeling more or less the same as last year, the confusion, insecurity ecetera ecetera, but i guess in some ways i feel old now.
so the lessons i've learnt this year are plentiful, but i guess the most important one, the one i only learnt 3 weeks before the A's is that i cant please everybody. i only realised then that all my life i've been living for others, just so that i can keep everyone happy, so that they would like me. and i didnt realise that it was detrimental to my self-esteem till the nice lady in the counselling room told me so. and i realised that out of 9 irrational beliefs, i had 7. which made me realise that my life has been a farce so far. because its not even mine.
so i guess my 2009 resolution would be to do things that make ME happy. because i do not want to live life just so that i can please others. i do not want to be a mindless service machine, especially when most of the time people just do not appreciate what you do.
its gonna be hard to fulfill this resolution, especially with NS around the corner. oh well.
i dont know how to phrase number 1 in my previous entry. i guess maybe i never will. i seriously have no idea what to do about it.
how time has flown by me, and i barely noticed it. it seemed ages ago that i was sad, depressed about so many things. basketball, teammates, relationships and whatnot. and its weird feeling more or less the same as last year, the confusion, insecurity ecetera ecetera, but i guess in some ways i feel old now.
so the lessons i've learnt this year are plentiful, but i guess the most important one, the one i only learnt 3 weeks before the A's is that i cant please everybody. i only realised then that all my life i've been living for others, just so that i can keep everyone happy, so that they would like me. and i didnt realise that it was detrimental to my self-esteem till the nice lady in the counselling room told me so. and i realised that out of 9 irrational beliefs, i had 7. which made me realise that my life has been a farce so far. because its not even mine.
so i guess my 2009 resolution would be to do things that make ME happy. because i do not want to live life just so that i can please others. i do not want to be a mindless service machine, especially when most of the time people just do not appreciate what you do.
its gonna be hard to fulfill this resolution, especially with NS around the corner. oh well.
i dont know how to phrase number 1 in my previous entry. i guess maybe i never will. i seriously have no idea what to do about it.
posted by roses for the dead. at
3:56 pm
2 Comments:
don't know if you actually read this, but yea. i have the last lecture! and i haven't read it either haha. and it's spelt et cetera(: and you probably won't be able to live to make yourself happy in NS, because you live to please your superiors over there(:
lol yes okay maybe i should edit it to become my life in general :D
and yes i do read my comments (:
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