It Hurts; Wounds So Sore

i salute you xinling. i have no idea how you did it. being motivational and all. pretending to be strong so that your friends have someone to lean against. saying things you yourself dont really believe in.

im pathetic. i really am.

Screaming Hallelujah

it seems so long ago that i knew who i was. what i had going for me. what was important, what wasn't.
i cant fathom the point at which it all started degenerating. but begin it did and now its a landslide to hell.
giving up hope. embracing despair. swallowing my pride.
smashed to smithereens and i had to piece myself up, painfully.
and continue as if nothing happened.
because apparently no one cared. not even you, even though you promised.

im sick of this charade ive got to put on every single day.
im sick of pretending that im okay.
im sick of acting that words dont hurt, because they do.
im sick of all this, Lord.
take me away.



im begging you, o Lord.
take me away.