Stranger Can You Forgive Me If It Sounds I Know You Too Well

sent my brother off at BMTC school 1 today (technically, it was yesterday, but what the heck).

i dont know why, but ever since i was a kid i always cried whenever a family member was leaving for a prolonged period of time. like when i was a kid, my dad was up and coming in the military, and he often had to make trips to taiwan and god knows where else for trainings and stuffs, and i always cried whenever he left. even as i got older i didnt grow out of it. like when my brother was going to aussieland for his attachment before his final year in poly, i cried my guts out when he checked in his flight, even when his girlfriend and best friend didnt. and i felt like crying when he left again today, but i had to suck it up and swagger along, pretending i didnt care, because i didnt want my brother to worry or anything. i mean come on he has to get his head shaved, i think thats enought to worry about. i guess im not ashamed of it, because i guess, i just love my family too much. even if i dont wanna admit it to myself most of the time.

seeing so many couples today just make me nostalgic for being in a relationship again. i wish there was someone whom i could love, and this time i wouldnt make any mistakes. not anymore.
im tired of being lonely.